An interesting evening from the life of Sarah.

09 Abr An interesting evening from the life of Sarah.

Sarah picked up a case with a guitar and a bag with a laptop with a slight movement, threw the words of goodbye to her friends, and moved to the exit. Sarah is a completely ordinary student-student, what to study at a programmer, loves to play a guitar, as well as gatherings with friends for a compume in D&D. Her appearance is not very remarkable, distinctive features are dark hair just below her shoulders, glasses with glasses with a thickness of one third of the centimeter, in clothing prefers sweaters and jeans.
It was already quite late when Sarah returned home from a gathering in D&D with friends. On the way, she chose what the series to watch. Yesterday, the girl stumbled upon a “Doctor Who”, and a little perplexed: how could she miss him?
There was only a quarter to the house, Sarah already definitely decided on the choice, when suddenly a strange wall caught her eye. She seemed to be out of place, caught her eye, and as if with all her appearance she specifically attracted attention, at the same time, trying to seem inconspicuous. The wall, of course, was strange, but even the door was even strange in it, because this door was not. And instead there was a USB port. Sarah was surprised (as any other person would be surprised in her place), and she once again looked around the “door”, wiped her eyes, but the wall and the door were in place. The door, it would seem, is completely ordinary: the loops are in place (though both sides, which is also undoubtedly strange), from a light tree, without any pattern or drawing. A completely ordinary door, not counting this little detail.
Looking around, and making sure that she was alone on the street, the girl leaned the guitar against the wall, sat down on the ground, and connected the laptop to the “door”. Of course, it was a slightly reckless act, but sometimes (alas, for Sarah it was “sometimes” equivalent to “always”) curiosity wins rational thoughts.
Having launched the system in safe mode, the first thing she saw was a proposal to install drivers for the “_dVry_v device.3.4.7 ". Sarah risked, but she did not see another way to find out what it was, and clicked to install. “It’s good that I made a backup yesterday."Sarah thought, watching the strip of installation. When the installation ended, a new disc appeared, with a volume of 783 GB. “Hmm … strange …” – it is not known which time she thought – “Not a standard configuration …”. It was filled with 127 GB. It was mainly on it, with unusual, not supported extensions. Except one- “Perenos.exe ".
-Well, let’s go to Rubicon. – muttered Sarah and a double click sounded in the night silence.
Nothing happened.
Sarah checked the log of tasks, and finding nothing new, she was bewildered. The next moment, her gaze sank into the watch, which showed that already 0:37.
-Crap! I had to be at home an hour ago!- Sarah said and looked up on top of the monitor.
The wall and the door remained in place, but everything around has changed dramatically. The buildings grew up, overgrown with neon lamps, the sky acquired a gray-metallic tint, monorail tracks ran over their heads, and holographic advertising of batteries on the magic field was on the building through the road. “There must be a typo…. or not a very attentive editor. – thought Sarah, “but Stop, what is happening in general, where I? "
As soon as she rose from the ground, the door opened, and because of her a pale, tired, long-shaved man looked out, with glasses, and with a blue cap, on which “It” was written. I looked at Sarah, Sarah looked at him. This dumb scene lasted five seconds, and then the door slammed slammed, and voices came from it:
– Crap! We already have an amusing sector, so you also forgot the door to remove the door, because of this we have a hit!
– Ahh, shit, I’ll take it away now, and for now, go through the glee in the gamma sector!
The door opened again, and a young guy with glasses came out of it, in clothes, a technique, and with a large bag.
– So, you are coming to me – he turned to Sarah – and it is better for you to forget about everything you saw, and do not ask questions.
He took her under his elbow led somewhere with alleys.
– Hey, more than more! – She pulled out her hand and stopped. – If no one believes me, then answer a couple of questions!
The technician stopped and shrugged.
-Only fast, and there are many problems without you.
– Okay, so where to start? – She britored her gaze to the top, and put the index finger on the chin – hmm ..
– Faster.
-Okay, okay. So: where am I?
-Research Station "Arclack". Now let’s go, I will answer along the way.- After these words, he quickly walked forward, not looking back to make sure if Sarah followed him or not.
-And where exactly is this station to be?
– In the wrong side of reality.
-Okay, but you can seriously answer?
– In the wrong side of reality.
-Hm…. Well, if this is such a secret, I could immediately say that it is not supposed to say. Okay, further: how I got here?
-Activated the transfer script.
-That is how? How can you influence reality using code?
-Just.
-That is how? This is magic! In what language should be stolen in order to transfer a person the devil knows where, and even without his consent!?
-You correctly noticed that it was magic. Better stop at this concept, it will be easier for you.
-Well, okay, let’s leave it for later. Who are you? And what kind of gamma sector?
-Junior technician. I will not answer about the sector, because why do you need to know, besides, we have almost come. Follow me and be silent.
All this time they walked along unrealistic alleys. After the last words, the technician sank down near the wall to the knee. Then he took a keyboard from a bulky -looking bag, for a few seconds, thinking, he looked at many cords emanating from it, chose one of them, nodded to himself, and put it in the sleeve. At the same time, Sarah heard a click. The technician quickly walked around the keyboard with his hands, so that the girl did not have time to remember the combination, threw the bag on the shoulder, and, without disconnecting the keyboard (“from myself. “Sarah thought) took the wall by the lower edge, and threw it back like a curtain.
-Wow …- Sarah gone.
-Let’s go, and do not lag, get lost – I will not look.
As soon as Sarah stepped over the threshold (?) the walls (?), she literally stunned an infinite amount of smells and sounds. They seemed to be in another world (and whether it is true "as if"?). And he resembled something average between the server room and the retail market. Near the racks with drives (“probably they perform this function,” the girl thought), from which thousands of wires of different sizes and flowers stretched, there were shopping tents with many incomprehensible goods, sellers shouted incomprehensible phrases, there were hundreds of passers -by around, children ran everywhere. And only one technique on the face was an expression of extreme hostility and disgust on the face, at the sight of this picture.
Grabbing Sarah by the hand, he dragged her through the crowd, and this time she did not break out, she was getting lost. After a few minutes of wandering, they entered the empty lane, where only one robot cleaner swept the street.
Approaching him, the technician kneel again, and scored a combination on the keyboard. The robot stopped, and extended his hand forward. He had an ordinary flash drive in him. Taking it, the technician said:
-Take my hand.
At that moment, when their hands contacted, suddenly everything became blurred, the world froze for a short moment, and then, he began to move without them as if. And it all ended also suddenly. Now the technician and girl stood in the dark, medieval, in appearance, corridor. “Maybe we got into some ancient castle?" – thought Sarah. While the guy was busy with the keyboard (he muttered something about the leaned train), Sarah went to a narrow loophole and looked down. The view was impressive: from a height of fifty to sixty meters, she saw a huge army, which seemed to be going to storm the castle. “But I guessed, this is really a castle!". The technician patted Sarah on the shoulder, and said:
– Do not lag behind.
When they went down to the fortress wall, fussy people came across along the way, with fear in their eyes. The technique apparently annoyed, and the more people they met, the more he frowned.
-So, stop, why we are not surprising? We are very much different in appearance?
-They are used to it, I often go here.
They walked along the fortress wall, looking down, when they came to the meeting, a removal knight.
-It is unlikely that we will be able to defend this attack. Martin, command a retreat, withdraw women and children first.
-Good Sir Commander -in -Chief ..
-How tired you are!- The technician grumbled, sank to his knee and began to corn something. A few seconds later, ash-gray clouds thickened behind the fortress walls, and a second later a fiery storm fell on a soldier. It lasted only a few seconds, but when it ended, there was nobody under the walls.
The technician got up, took, standing with his mouth open, Sarah by the hand, and led past the knights, who also stood with his mouth open.
They went down, the technician went to one of the houses, stooped something, and the door acquired the look exactly the same as the one through which this adventure began. Opening the door, the technician said “this is your last stop,” and was about to leave, as Sarah fainted right on him.
– Here’s the shit!
The technician took Sarah in his arms, walked through the door, without closing her, put the girl near the wall, and scored several lines on the keyboard. I thought a little, then I scored a few more lines, and put a flash drive in my hand.
– If she has abilities ..
Immediately after these words, he got up, pressed a few more keys, and Sarah disappeared. And the technician with a calm soul began to come back. After all, most likely, the problems with the Gamma sector have not yet been resolved, and the new ones, most likely, were added. Here is such a difficult life of the Coder of the Universe.
_____________
Sarah woke up in her bed. There was still a flash drive in her hand.
As soon as she sat down, and looked at her laptop, her lips were transformed by a smile. A console was opened on the monitor, and it says in it font “Wake Up, Sara.".

The best comments

Thank you.
There, above, it was not me who wrote, but my double, with vitamin deficiency, eternal spleen and not at all a stable mood. Sometimes he intercepts management and everything becomes bad. But I already ate a banana, and again cheerful)

The best friend of man is “Rosental Handbook”. If there are the slightest doubts about the correctness of writing-open-ready-amicha, it has almost everything in it. First of all, you may be interested in paragraphs of part 22 and part 31 – errors according to these rules are found in the text more often than others. The rest … I have sketched a small list here – perhaps it will be easier for you to figure it out.

Sarah grabbed a case with a guitar and a laptop bag with a light movement, threw the words of goodbye to friends, and moved to the exit.

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

Sarah is a completely ordinary student girl, What study on the programmer, loves to play the guitar, as well as gatherings with friends behind the Company in D&D.

a) a complex connection through the Union of “What” is possible here, but it is better to replace “what” with “it” or even remove.
b) girl – what does? Studies. But if "a girl – what to do?", Then study.
in) firstly, both “d” are large, secondly, such a name should be taken in quotation marks, and thirdly, it has a completely Russian name-“dungeons and dragons”.

There are no errors here, but it was mentioned about gatherings with friends, and perhaps it is better to replace this combination with “from one of its gatherings” or at all to remove (it still does not bear plot meaning) – exclusively for the beauty and fewer closely repeated words. If you leave it, then do not forget to fix the d & d similarly to the previous point.

a) French "Christmas trees" are traditionally used in Russian, and for quotes inside quotes and when writing by hand – German "paws". I will not allocate on the whole text, but I will dwell on this example of this example.
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.
c) Probably a typo – a continuation of the sentence after a column is written with a small letter.

Home It remained total quarter, Sarah has definitely decided on the choice, when suddenly her A strange wall caught my eye.

Probably typos. You need to read it 🙂

She were as if not to place, she was striking in the eyeAh, and as if with all its appearance it specially attracted attention, at the same timeI, pHaving seemed invisible.

a) a typo.
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.
c) excess commas: “at the same time” is an adversible expression, and it does not require staging punctuation marks.

The wall, of course, was strange, but even the door was even strange in it, because this door was not. And instead there was a USB port. Sarah was surprised (as any other person in her place would be surprised), And she Once again I looked around the “door”, pulled her eyes, but both the wall and the door were in place. The door, it would seem, is completely ordinary: the loops are in place (though both sides, which is also undoubtedly strange), from a light tree, without any pattern or drawing. Absolutely ordinary The door, not counting this little detail.

a) somehow a lot of excess: for example, you can delete "and she" or a comma and "she".
b) homogeneous members, if there are unions “and” in front of them, are separated by commas from each other (but the first member is not placed) – “but the wall and the door”.
c) the combination of “completely ordinary” is repeated twice in neighboring sentences, so that one of them can be safely replaced with, say, “ordinary”.
d) as for the door itself, then you need to decide: if it is a “door”, then after the first mention in quotation marks, it should also be mentioned further; If this is still the door, then the quotes are superfluous. However, the construction of the last two in the quote from the proposals does not imply a quotation margin, so if the door is the “door”, then these two sentences must be transferred to the mention of the “door” for the first time. And according to the decision to put or remove quotes further in the text.

Looking around the stationg, and After making sure that she was alone on the street, the girl leaned the guitar against the wall, sat on the groundYu, and Connected the laptop to the "door".

In both cases: a comma between the homogeneous members of the sentence connected by the Union “I” is not put.

Of course, it was a slightly reckless act, but sometimes (alas, for Sarah it was “sometimes” equivalent to “always”) curiosity wins rational thoughts.

I’m not sure if this is a mistake, but usually they say this: thoughts about something or something-about nature, about work, at the entrance, but some kind of thinking is rational, for example, for example.

Having launched the system in safe mode, the first thing she saw, This There was a proposal to install drivers for the device _dVry_v.3.4.7 ".

"This" is a little superfluous. The proposal itself is solution, it can be made easier and not to lose meaning:
“The first thing she saw after the launch of the system in a safe mode was an offer to install drivers for the“ _dvey_v device.3.4.7 "."
“Immediately after starting the system in safe mode, she saw a proposal to install drivers for the device“ _dVry_v.3.4.7 "."

If direct speech is facing the author’s words, then after it a comma is placed (interrogative or exclamation mark, dierce) and dash. In this case, the comma serves to replace the point and is carried out for quotes, but the rest is not.

A comma is not needed; the volume is not “on”, but simply by volume: “A new disk of 783 GB has appeared”

a) Sleep – non -standard.
b) If the author’s words break direct speech, then parts of direct speech are not separated by additional quotation marks. The author’s words end with a point if the sentence of direct speech to them has a complete meaning, or a comma, if it does not make a complete meaning and continues after the words of the author. Punctuation mark at the end: if the point, then it is carried out for quotes, if everything else, remain inside the quotation marks, and the point that must be divided by the current sentence and the following is not placed.
“Hmm … it’s strange …” – it is unknown what time she thought. – Non -standard configuration … “It was filled with 127 GB."

The comma is not needed.

a) the absence of a gap between the dash and the word at the beginning of the dialogue is probably a typo … which is many times further in the text.
b) if in the dialogs in the words of the author there is “said”, “answered”, “muttered”, “exclaimed”, “asked” and other words denoting the statement, then the words of the author begin with a small letter, a dash and a comma (instead of a point) is put in front of them). There can also be a questioning or exclamation mark and a multi -year, but the author’s words still begin with a small letter. A large letter is put if there are no words denoting a statement.
c) the sentences must be separated by a comma or dash – it is better than a dash, because the proposals are different and are not much combined with each other.

The participial turnover is released by commas. The union "and" does not absorb into itself, this can be checked by discarding the turnover (the structure of the sentence is not violated).

a) If in the dialogs in the words of the author there is “said”, “answered”, “muttered”, “exclaimed”, “asked” and other words denoting the statement, then the author’s words begin with a small letter, a dash and a comma (instead of a point) is placed in front of them). There can also be a questioning or exclamation mark and a multi -year, but the author’s words still begin with a small letter. A large letter is put if there are no words denoting a statement.
b) on top – indicates the subject above which the action is directed. That is, you can look on top of the monitor, and just up your eyes.

“There must be a typo… Or not a very attentive editor. " – thought Sarah -" " But stop what is happening at all, where I? "

a) an ellipsis is three points, no longer necessary.
b) If the author’s words break direct speech, then parts of direct speech are not separated by additional quotation marks. The author’s words end with a point if the sentence of direct speech to them has a complete meaning, or a comma, if it does not make a complete meaning and continues after the words of the author. If direct speech is facing the author’s words, then after it a comma is placed (interrogative or exclamation mark, dierce) and dash. In this case, the comma serves to replace the point and is carried out for quotes, but the rest is not.
“There must be a typo … or not a very attentive editor, Sarah thought. – But stop, what happens in general, where I?"

As soon as she rose from the ground, the door opened, and Because of her The pale, tired, not shaved man looked out for a long time, in a glassx, and with a blue cap, on which it was written “it”.

a) you can do anything from the door if it is closed or ajar: for example, screaming or peeping. If it is open and hide behind it, then you can also. In this case, a person already peeps out of the room (room), or rather, just looks: “… the door opened, and a pale, tired one looked at Sarah. "
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

If the gamma is the name of the sector, then it is necessary in quotation marks and with a capital letter: Sector "Gamma".

In a good way, it is necessary to carry out a number of clarifications, go from general to the particular or divide the transfer by semantic blocks. For example, like this: “… a guy in clothing technique. A large bag hung on his shoulder, he held glasses in his hands ". Or so: “… a guy with glasses. There was a technique on it, in his hands – a large bag ". Or so: “… a guy with glasses. He was dressed in overalls, in his left hand he held a large bag. ".

– So, you are going with manyth – he turned to Sarah – And it’s better for you to forget about everything you saw, And don’t ask questions.

a) If in the dialogs in the words of the author there is “said”, “answered”, “muttered”, “exclaimed”, “asked” and other words denoting the statement, then the author’s words begin with a small letter, a dash and a comma (instead of a point) is placed in front of them). There can also be a questioning or exclamation mark and a multi -year, but the author’s words still begin with a small letter. A large letter is put if there are no words denoting a statement. The author’s words end in a point if the proposal to them has a complete meaning, or a comma, if it does not make a complete meaning and continues after the words of the author.
b) Verbs have different times, they should or lead to one: “And it is better for you to forget about everything that you saw and not ask questions”, or divide into two suggestions: “And it is better for you to forget about everything that you saw. And don’t ask questions ".

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal is put.

– Hey, more than more! – OI pulled my hands outy, and Stopped. – If no one believes me, then answer a couple of questions!

a) There are no speakers here, the author’s words represent a separate sentence, which means they begin with a capital letter.
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

– Okay, so where to start? https://nonukcasinosites.co.uk/review/dream-vegas-casino/ – She looked up as a caricature To cErchy, and put the index finger on the chinTo – Hmm ..

a) in this case, "up" is an adverb, which means that it is written together.
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.
c) probably again a typo … or a shortage?

Without a soft sign. Station – what does? Located.

The question mark is written before the exclamation, if they go together: "?!"

Then he took out a keyboard from a bulky -looking bag, a few seconds, thinking, I looked On many cords emanating from it, I chose one of them, SB noddede, and put it in the sleeve.

a) I looked – this is a one -time action, and if a few seconds, then I "looked"
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

The technician quickly walked around the keyboard with his hands, thatK, hthen the girl did not have time to remember the combination, threw the bag on the shoulder, and, without disconnecting the keyboard (“from myself. " – thought Sarah) Vthe walls of the lower edgeth, and threw it like a curtain.

a) The comma is excess. If you can leave it, but for this you need to rephrase the offer and remove the comma in front of the “so”: “The technician went through the keyboard with her hands so that the girl did not have time to remember the combination. " – that is, the technician went so (quickly) that … (" quickly "is not written, but implied from context)
b) without disconnecting the keyboard – the participle turnover, stands out with commas.
c) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

And only one technique On the face there was an expression of extreme hostility and disgust On the face, at the sight of this picture.

After a few minutes the wandererY, aboutneither entered the empty lane, where only one robot cleaner swept the street.

In all cases, commas are simply not needed. And the repeating twice “on the face” remains, apparently, after formulating torment (such things are usually with a clearing and corrected).

Approaching him, the technician stood on his knees againOh, and Got a combination on the keyboard. The robot stopI, and He extended his hand forward.

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

At that moment, when their hands touched, suddenly everything became blurred, the world for a short momentl, and floodm, nAkal as if to move without them.

a) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.
b) a comma is not needed, it is superfluous.

While the guy was busy with the keyboard (he muttered something about the leaned train), Sarah went to a narrow loopholese, and I looked down.

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

The view opened impressive: WITH Heights V meters Fifty to sixty She sawAh, aboutThe Loud Army, which seems to have been going to storm the castle.

a) After the colon, the word begins with a small letter, unless, of course, the name or not the name, which is written in itself with a capital letter.
b) We need to change the preposition and meters in places: “From a height of meters of fifty to sixty. "
c) combinations that are of an approximate indication of the quantity or time of something are written through a hyphen (without spaces): fifty to sixty. However, the rule has an exception: if in combination the numbers or one of the parts have spaces, then it is written through the dash. For example: 50 – 60 and fifty – sixty -five.
d) an extra comma.

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

Given the context, this proposal is not questioning, but an affirmative.

There should be a dash here, because there is an explanation in the second part: due to the fact that the technician often walks, people are used to and do not show surprise. But if the explanation was in the first part, then there would be a colon: "I often pass here: they are used to it".

Sir Commander -in -Chief – treatment, stands out with commas.

If he grumbles with an exclamation, that is, loudly, then it is better to somehow explain additionally. Or remove the exclamation.

After a few secondsD, sAnd ash-gray clouds thickened with fortress walls, and a second later a fiery storm fell on a soldier.

Since there was some more recently, but he escaped/died after some action, it is better to say "nobody left".

The technician got up, took it, standing with an open mouth, Sarah Behind the handsy, and led past the knights who also stood with an open mouth.

a) If the involved turnover is faced with the defined word, then it does not stand out with commas (there are exceptions, but this turnover does not fall under them).
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

Opening the door, technician said “this is your last stop”, and I was about to leave as Sarah fell into a fainting right on him.

If direct speech is inside the copyright words, then a colon is put in front of it, and after it – a comma, dash or a comma and dash (according to context conditions). Since he “said” and “gathered” – homogeneous members and are connected by the union “and”, then we put a dash. There would be no union, there would be a comma: “… the technician said:“ This is your last stop, ”turned around and was about to leave. "

The technician took Sarah in his arms, walked through the door, without closing her, put the girl near the wallss, and I scored several lines on the keyboard. I thought a little, then I scored a few more seasK, and put a flash drive in his hand.

A comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not placed.

a) an extra comma.
b) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

After all, more likely, problems with the gamma sector have not yet been resolved, and new, more likely, Add.

Two identical combinations almost in a row – not very cool. Better when they are different 🙂

a) a comma between the homogeneous members of the proposal connected by the union "and" is not put.

What to do with all this? Here the answer is classic: read, write, practice, fill your hand and gain experience. Have not yet come up with another recipe.

You have invented it for yourself. I am for a living Russian, without a chancellery and without fear of translating foreign words.

Again, everything comes out to -““ a good one is coming from a ristassian on a disgrace in a gulbish in wet -wolf and with a gourmet ”. It is translated, by the way -"" Frant goes from the circus to the Boulevard Theater in Galoshas and with an Umbrella ". They wrote in the 19th century, and people still fight for the purity of the Russian language. The people of the Russian language are chosen by the people themselves, and the dictionaries then simply fix it. This process cannot be stopped, to somehow influence.

Apparently I was not so expressed. I do not go a marching of learning and enriching the language when the words have settled (sic!), just as I am not going to step in the wake of retrograde, who arranged persecution of everything foreign and waved "wettings".

It is well known: once foreign words, especially with Latin roots, came to our country along with new philosophical, scientific, technical concepts and phenomena, for which in the Russian language there were no words yet. Many have taken root and have not been perceived for a long time as strangers. But even Peter I, who so zealously forced Domostroevsky Rus’ to catch up with Europe in all areas, from ships to assemblies, was forced to ban over excessive enthusiasm for foreign words. The king wrote to one of his ambassadors:

“In your relations, you use a lot of Polish and other foreign words and terms, for which it is impossible to express a lot; For the sake of the sake of you, your relations to us to write everything to us in the Russian language, without using foreign words and terms ”“ In your relations, you use a lot of Polish and other foreign words and terms, behind which it is impossible to express the case; For the sake of the sake of you, your relations to us to write everything to us in Russian, without using foreign words and terms ".

"To use a foreign one, when there is an equivalent Russian word means insulting both common sense and common sense."."To use a foreign one, when there is an equivalent Russian word means insulting both common sense and common sense.".

Another century ahead, and Mayakovsky will write on the same topic “On Fiaska, the Apogei and other unknown things”:

So that I do not write ok,

Morally I get out too:

what is suitable for a foreign dictionary,

the newspaper – not even.So that I do not write ok,

Morally I get out too:

what is suitable for a foreign dictionary,

It would seem that if the newspaper is not the same, then artistic prose and poetry is not at all to the face. But it was from the newspapers (and then from the radio, even later from television) that all wider, all the assertions both in everyday life and in the literature are suitable only for a foreign dictionary, for purely special articles and scientists. And the translation/replacement of the Russian analogue has the opportunity to all this husk if not displaced, then at least to hold.

And what is the difference? Why, if I write a military story, I can’t use military slang in the description? Why drive yourself into a narrow framework? I just don’t understand

Stylization is a picky person. The third person is not suitable for the artist in the third person, because the author himself tells us the story as an eyewitness, as a god, but anyone. And the trick is to convey it with feelings and emotions, if possible. Because history, as it were, passes through the author’s prism, is processed by him, and comes to us, such a filter is released that grinds a certain act of actual (if we are talking about military topics) into a terrible everyday life. Much depends on the place and time. Take, for example, Vasily Terkin Tvardovsky, how many military slang is there? Yes, not very. And this does not interfere with the understanding that there is a war and all related. Whether excessive technical, actual details in speech belittle the effect of mental recoil. And, by the way, they are suitable for specific genres, such as the same NF, but there are also their own rules, like using the modern language as accurately as possible. With the first person, everything is clear, there is no filter, the character’s thoughts pour naturally, but again, without a pepper, the author’s voice is invisibly present.

The party is also the whole game from the beginning to the end, which is Campain. There can be one plot or several in the game, and a different number of people can play it as well. But all this action can be called a party at once. Big, small, long, fleeting, but party. For convenience, you just need to clarify.

A computer is a well -established word that has fabricated in a language. The word "campais" is already slang, which can and should be replaced.

Even the desire to break its writer’s feather (imaginary, of course) arose, and delete everything that is somehow connected with this, and also never engage in this deaths again.

Hey! Where does such decadent moods come from? I had something else in mind: not "everything is so bad for you", but "you have something to strive for". These are fundamentally different positions, and it is better to follow the second, because the first is the right path to nowhere. Take any professional writer: Pushkin, Bradbury, Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Heinline, Strugatsky, Azimov, Lukyanenko (there are thousands of them, if not tens of thousands) – each of them had a birth and childhood, when they did not even know the alphabet, as well as stories in many, novels and whole novels that were not accepted by the publisher. But they did not back down, continued to work on themselves, honed skill – and now their names are known all over the world. Deservedly known.
Is this right – to retreat only because there are rules with which you still (it is – this is not Newton’s bin, it is not difficult to deal with them at all)? Stephen King has a good book “How to write books. Memoirs about the craft ”, and it is valuable not with practical recommendations about the style of writing, but the history of the writer himself. King talks about the difficulties that he had to face before his first book was published, and after. He also had moments when he wanted to quit everything, but, fortunately for himself and readers, he solved problems without such a radical action.

Halturno. I do not see a wall of the text of the style behind the wall, a lot of extra descriptions, raw, frankly. For example, from the first lines:

Sarah is a completely ordinary student-student, what to study at a programmer, loves to play a guitar, as well as gatherings with friends for a compume in D&D. Her appearance is not very remarkable, distinctive features are dark hair just below her shoulders, glasses with glasses with a thickness of one third of the centimeter, in clothing prefers sweaters and jeans.

Too dry. This is your character, you must know him as a flashed. If she is an ordinary student, and write a “modest student”, although it is better to reveal it differently. Describe it brighter, add specifics, without dry facts that her hair is dark and just below the shoulders. Maybe they have her wavy, curly, brass softness, add specifics of color, blue-black or the colors of the brown wing. Decorate the heroine. If it doesn’t work, then practice the passers -by mentally, describe them from head to toe, in all details and colors, but only the most important and memorable. Here you write about thick glasses, you are very clearly clarify that they are a thickness of one third centimeter! It is no good. You can much easier, focus glasses, botanist glasses or if painter, then fish lenses. Stereotypes and stamps also need to be able to use. And another little advice, try to avoid foreign words, but better not use them at all (except for names). You use the word "compound", although you can replace in Russian with "party".

In any case, train more often. By the first, try to copy the style of your beloved author, gain style. And do not forget to edit yourself, preferably after a good rest. Believe me, you can fix a lot with an uncomplicated look, except for ordinary errors.

That’s what the translation is important that you need to understand everything and be able to find a replacement in order to maintain the spirit of the language. In everyday life you can speak as you like, but here, we have a story that we must approach accordingly. Therefore, I do not see anything good in Kamapin in this case, but to clarify which party, it is quite possible for myself. Well, I agree that the party is not the most perfect option, you must think about others, because replacement is important. Why not call all this similar in sound in the word “campaign”, which in turn is divided into the party? You can use something more thematic and older-"campaign". The options are not a problem, it would be a desire to figure out and eliminate the language barrier in all this, specifically in the case of an artistic language.

Now imagine how I have to build a sentence, how much to use words to say a sentence without slang-“what a global plot in Kampin” and “I will only go to the van shots”?

Replacing Kampin with a campaign/campaign and call “van shot” a short game or a short batch is not such a great problem.

It’s how to fit respectively? That is, to make sure that some kind of hopnik characters, who finished nine classes, speak the pure, Russian language, as if graduating from a philological university?
The selection of writing style depends on the characters and setting. If you write about the life of some bottom, then it is stupid to use a high, literary style. You will be forced to go to slang, mats and other low style, simply because it is the bottom, there people talk so and you just convey the flavor and life. I will tell you even more, the highest aerobatics to build a character’s speech from his past, hobbies and hobbies. No one else bothers, but correctly, if the character says, then the reader must immediately understand who says. Parasites, mats, dialect, slang, etc.D. used by the character, they will say more about him than a couple of description pages.
So, in this case, the author, describing the hobbies of the girl, used the correct term -“Campa”, simply because it is the slang of the community where the girl is spinning. We are forced to use NRI slang because we describe the right -handers. Of course, you can do a haste, make transfers and t.D., But why?

Do not confuse the direct speech of the characters and the author’s speech narrative. In a particular case, the author tells us, not the character. This is important.
The setting requires an approach, this is true, but here you again miss the thread between the terminology justified and the speech of the artistic. There is a difference between what and how to explain and the main thing is how to do it. The role is also played and from which person the stream of history comes. If from the first, then yes, you can speak with some slang, but in moderation, if without it, well, nowhere, while maintaining the author’s voice. For a third person in the narrative, this does not fit decisively, only if the task is not worth giving out more expression. These are all stylization issues, it is easy to overdo it here.

I will tell you even more, the highest aerobatics to build a character’s speech from his past, hobbies and hobbies. No one else bothers, but correctly, if the character says, then the reader must immediately understand who says. Parasites, mats, dialect, slang, etc.D. used by the character, they will say more about him than a couple of description pages.

Whoever wants already. Someone about hobbies, someone about the inner world. The highest aerobatics is not in the mood to write about this and that, but in how it is written, what time is used, which word is selected and is it appropriate is it appropriate? And you can write about everything.

The author writes in Russian. You can’t forget about it. The spirit is more important than the letter, this is any one for you.The translator will say, and the professional writer too. This is the only way to do interesting. No, there is no need for literal and other Kazenchina with foreign raids. The most scary when a person is confident in the indifferentness of the word and that he does not need to touch him. The right is the case, this is a last nightmare. In every possible way to avoid corners, including foreign ones, the duty of each self -respecting writer. In extreme cases – replace if it does not require the nature of the narrative or hero. This is a banal speech, ours with you, which, if not to protect, will be guilty, worship, will lose nature. Our voice is our voice and I personally do not want to allow the dead to grab the living and turning it as you like.

First – you now owe Shanti for the editing. Second – you must cram your mania and complexes away. If you thought on the first attempt to write something good, then you thought so in vain. You wrote a draft and you just need to rewrite it. Put again, and rewrite again. It doesn’t work well yet. The more drafts, the better. Now you know where to move. Relax. You have a pure hobby that should bring you pleasure. Mastery comes over time. The third – learn to perceive criticism, learn to determine the main thing in it.
And so, I see no reason to be sad and sad. I myself can bring, God forbid, to the summer to a readable draft of my book – and there will be about ten copyright sheets. And then, it will not be clean.
P.WITH.Do not forget to read all kinds of books about writing skills.

Why did you decide that the Russian language is a dead language that is not developing? We have a third language, if not half, consists of foreign, Russified words. Again, everything comes out to -““ a good one is coming from a ristassian on a disgrace in a gulbish in wet -wolf and with a gourmet ”. It is translated, by the way -"" Frant goes from the circus to the Boulevard Theater in Galoshas and with an Umbrella ". They wrote in the 19th century, and people still fight for the purity of the Russian language. The people of the Russian language are chosen by the people themselves, and the dictionaries then simply fix it. This process cannot be stopped, to somehow influence.

. For a third person in the narrative, this does not fit decisively, only if the task is not worth giving out more expression. These are all stylization issues, it is easy to overdo it here.

And what is the difference? Why, if I write a military story, I can’t use military slang in the description? Why drive yourself into a narrow framework? I just don’t understand

Atomgrib wrote you correctly. The masterpiece will not work on the first attempt. Moreover, just imagine how many refusals beginners (and not so) writers receive in the editorial offices, how much they need to rewrite and start again, but this is not a reason to stop their work. Yes, literature is largely a job, primarily on oneself. Errors are a trifle, the more you read, the better the letter will be, and the correators on this mortal land will exist for that to rule other people’s mistakes. It is important not to stop writing if it is really important for you. In any case, you were not afraid to share a story, this also deserves respect.

The party is also the whole game from the beginning to the end, which is Campain. There can be one plot or several in the game, and a different number of people can play it as well. But all this action can be called a party at once. Big, small, long, fleeting, but party. For convenience, you just need to clarify.

You forget about the main meaning of the language – it must convey information, so that you are understood. Now I don’t understand what party (game) you write about-about Kamapin-about many separate parties united by one global plot, about the van shot-where the whole plot takes place within the framework of one game, that is, the players gather and the whole plot is going on, or about the game in one day? You see how many words and clarifications are needed to replace the van shot, campaign and party. Now imagine how I have to build a sentence, how much to use words to say a sentence without slang-“what a global plot in Kampin” and “I will only go to the van shots”? You will begin to get confused in parties and games. Long, fleeting is a characteristic of the time of the game, not its duration.
Why you can’t use slang and replace it – I don’t understand

Kampeyn in NRI is the whole sequence of games with a global plot and its development. The party is both the general name of a group of players playing in NRI, as well as a separate game. That is, the party and campaine are not one and the same. The party is included in Campin and there are many of them, but to call Kampin a party, it just brings confusion. It is not clear what we are talking about- about a separate game or about all games and the development of the plot. And the party and campaine carry these concepts. And yet. So -ascame, it came from the West, then you can use English -speaking terms -this already applies to slang, which is permissible. You don’t say a computer in the computer of an electronic computing machine.

what you thought you can write something good at once. This is a mania of greatness- you are too highly evaluating yourself, so you set inadequate tasks that at this stage you simply cannot achieve objectively. The goal should be achievable for you. You should not set one global target at once, but break it into small stages. For example, for normal goal -setting, you had to choose -“Write a story and put it on Stopheim to receive reviews about them”. You posted, got it, you have reached the goal, you are well done. Now for you the next goal is to “process the story in accordance with the reviews received and put it on Stopgame or other resource again to receive criticism and further processing of the story”. But even this is too global goal. You can even "write on the text page per day". But you can not even a page, but at least a paragraph. And do not forget to encourage yourself for achieving goals. Something like that.

Thank you for so confused, and explained everything in detail.
After reading, I had a question (for the most part rhetorical):
How to live with a very dead fourth in Russian and chronic graphomania?
Even the desire to break its writer’s feather (imaginary, of course) arose, and delete everything that is somehow connected with this, and also never engage in this deaths, but I will leave this story here, for the sake of maintaining a dispute Blindavocado and Atomgrist.
Thank you again, now, I’d better write adventure plots in D&D, for my non -existent friends than stories. So at least no one will see them.
P.S. Perhaps this message is like a dying note, but this is not so (and generally above there is no propaganda of suicide. Suicide is bad.). I just got very sad somehow (because of my own illiteracy, eh. ). Of course, I can hardly quit composing, but now it will only be stored on a hard disk, in the farthest folder.
P.S.S. I apologize for the errors in this message, and for the whole story, through which you probably had to wipe with fire and sword.